They say the end is coming sooner
But the end’s already here
I said today is but a rumor
That we’ll laugh at in a year
Or two, or three, or four, or five, whatever
If you’re gone, then I need you
If you’re gone, then how is any of this real?
When I’m on, I believe you
When I’m not, my knees don’t even seem to feel
How could you tell me that I’m great
When they chew me up, spit me out, pissed on me?
Why would you tell me that it’s fate
When they laughed at me, every day, in my face?
at the end of the world
It’s been an insanely long time since I blogged here. Mostly work and motherly commitments have taken me away from something which I used to find quite relaxing…that and personal stuff have found me really uninspired, too.
Lots going on, a new job (which I’m finding to be a far tougher transition than I expected), a new living situation (now that I’m out of that house, I am far happier, honestly) and the daughter is about to begin her Junior year of high school (grade 11) and her second year as part of the school’s marching band, who are universally recognized as the best in the state are headed to the Rose Parade in January (can you say fundraisers out the arse? I knew you could.).
I also had begun writing a novel. Which I was proud to say was well on its’ way to completion, until some news completely derailed it. And now I’m trying to get back to it, but can’t get my brain wrapped around it anymore. I’ll go for an hour or so but then get completely distracted by the news in Syria or the fact that one of my favorite writers has just passed away…or actually come here to write about all of these distractions - you get my point.
September will prove to be very insane as well - I’m really, really looking forward to finally seeing Alt-J live at First Avenue Sunday night (I’ve only had the tickets since February) and seeing The Neighbourhood (one of my new favorite bands - they’re freaking AMAZING, if you don’t know who they are, GO GET THEIR DISC - IMMEDIATELY) with Imagine Dragons at the end of the month, too and wishing my daughter would be with me at that one, but marching band commitments will keep her at rehearsal. Rosemount High School Marching Band competitions nearly every weekend as they present their 2013 show aRose and continue to refine it right up until they leave for the BOA SuperRegional in St. Louis in October and oh, yeah - a wedding in the middle of all of this - not mine, of course. That would be hilarious…since I have never really had a desire to go through all of that - the gaudy diamond ring and some horrible white dress that I’ll never wear again - just to be with the person I love and care for - stable, committed, that’s more than good enough for me. I am secure enough at my age to not need to drop a bloody fortune on a party and a dress. Money that could be put to far better use building wells in Sub-Saharan Africa or outfitting my local food shelf for the next 30 years or fully funding the Marching Band’s trip to Pasadena.
But I guess that explains why I can’t focus…too many things rattling around in my head, all vying for immediate attention and clearly defined action. It’s just too much for one girl to take.